If you are having surgery, or suffering with chronic illness, or undergoing chemotherapy treatment, or have had a heart attack, the church can be a resource of support and help.  People rally around these individuals with prayer, food, cards, and visits.  But if you suffer from chronic mental illness, or have a family member who is struggling with addiction, or have a child with depression, the church has often been strangely silent.   And yet, these individuals and families need the same kind of support as any individual or family who struggles with illness.  What is the reason for the...more

We have just concluded our quarterly seminar for premarital counseling.  It is always fun to work with engaged couples and to see their enthusiasm for each other.  Young love is a cocktail rush of brain chemicals:  dopamine, norepinephrine, and oxytocin all get released and the result is a flood of loving feelings.  Unfortunately, some of these same couples who are so in love and enthused will be back in my office within three years needing marriage therapy.  What happens to that initial passionate love? In her book, Love Sense, Sue Johnson describes a reality that she calls, “Relationship Fatigue.” ...more

Our pastor recently started a sermon series on the biblical character, Barnabas.  If you know the story of Barnabas, you know that his name was Joseph. Barnabas was a nickname, meaning, “Son of Encouragement.”   What a great nickname!  Every story that we ready about Barnabas is a story of encouragement.  He clearly embraced his identity as an encourager. All of us have a nickname and when we identify with it, it defines us. It may not be a nickname by which we are called, but it is an identity that informs how we think of ourselves. Instead of referring...more

We recently had a chance to get away for a few days of vacation at the beach.  It could not have been more perfect:  the sand was soft, the sky was blue, the water was clear, the temperature was pleasant, the hotel was fun, and the food was delicious.  We felt very blessed to be able to get away and to be in a place that we love. We had not been there long before we met a couple who complained about their room.  The bed was not comfortable, the view from their balcony was not adequate, and they...more

Recently, our church celebrated the Golden wedding anniversary of 19 couples.  50 years of marriage is a significant life milestone.  The average length of marriage today is 8 years.  Only 6% of couples make it to 50 years.  Some don’t make it because of the death of one or both spouses, but most don’t make it because of divorce.  It is a reminder that marriage is hard work.  What makes it so hard and what did these couples do that made a difference? Of course, that is the million dollar question.  If anyone could answer that and put it...more